A few years ago someone handed me a book about relationship that changed my life. It based its suppositions on each individual who pursues relationship having either an anxious or avoidant approach to relationship, or somewhere in the middle. I had been in many relationships, healthy and unhealthy ones, but no one had explained the process of choosing a mate using these prerequisites before I read this book. It got my attention and changed my choices almost immediately.
I’m now in a very loving marriage. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, and I understand the reason why. The answers to all my relationship questions were all out in front of me and easier to change than I was willing to admit. I simply hadn’t looked at the right facts. It’s like that photograph of a city that says on the top, “Can you see Jesus in this picture?” I turned the metaphoric picture every which way and never could see Jesus. I felt the same way with my consistent, wrong choices in choosing a partner, as well.
Learning Who You Are and Why
I have a battery of questions I ask you that help you and I discover if you are an anxious or avoidant relationship person. For me, I had a clue I was anxious, but I hadn’t realized why or how anxious I was until I went to a clinician who understood this process. Once I discovered I was anxiously attached, I wanted to unravel the “why” component. I feel unhooking from any old thought requires me to dig deeper into the why. This part is as important for me as the diagnosis. Some people just want to get on with the fix. I want to know all of the intricacies of the “why” to help me regain my power.
In doing so, I discovered that I kept attracting the same person in different packages. The signs were all there at the beginning each relationship. However, ever time I would ignore the signs, because I didn’t see their pertinence.
When I understood my problem, I made a concerted effort to avoid the unattainable “avoidant” person and find someone comfortable with intimacy. Of course, this takes the knowledge of knowing what “not” to look for as well as what attracts you almost immediately, which is almost always the wrong attributes. This process took time and patience, something an anxious person doesn’t believe he or she has time for. Anxiously attached people see the relationship time clock running out faster than it actually is.
My spouse and I had spent almost 6 months talking to each other as friends on Skype before we ever felt a relationship component had developed. When we moved passed friendship, we had already laid the groundwork for a healthy intimate relationship. This is the way to go. This is also the answer to the relationship question in my NY Times bestseller, even though I wrote it 10 years before I ever got married. I had the wisdom, but I didn’t even want to listen to my own advice.
Let me help you find that person you’ve been waiting for your entire life. I have helped hundreds get their minds and lives ready for that special relationship with Hypnosis. My company in Fort Lauderdale (and taking sessions online) has helped 1000s of people all over the country make amends to their soul.
Give me a call at Hypnosis on Las Olas: 954-253-6493
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