Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

Ironically, despite the popularity of the word narcissist, most people have never heard of the phrase “narcissistic abuse.”

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is primarily inflicted by individuals who have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD, which is characterized by a lack of empathy), or people who aren’t diagnosed as NPD, but share their “special” narcissistic qualitis with only you. Lucky, lucky you! 

Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

You can be in a loving relationship and experience bouts of narcissistic behavior from friends, work associates, lovers, and most commonly family members. But when does this behavior go from bouts to abuse? 

I wound define abuse as if this person in your life robs you of vital energy, gives you bad advice to manipulate you, builds you up only to break you down, or if the words they choose to say to you are often painful and feel as if they have no empathy attached. All of these instances are, in my estimation, narcissistic abuse. 

My Experience with Narcissistic Abuse

I had a narcissistic father. I could stop there and most of you would understand where I’m going with this. But, for the rest of you, I’ll continue. Nothing was ever good enough for him—no behavior, no task, no food you prepared, and even straight A’s on your report card falls short of this person’s approval. “What? Why no A+? Try harder next time.”

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, this sets you up in future relationships to be either extremely empathetic or teaches you to be a Co-narcissist. If you are involved in a relationship with a narcissist, you may have become conditioned into the role of the “co-narcissist.” What does this mean? It means you have morphed yourself into a person you’re not in order to continue being in the relationship.

In my case, I became very empathetic and consistently looked for narcissistic behavior in friends and most horribly, partners. (I’m sorry if you’re reading this, one of my exes. Like I said at the beginning, you probably weren’t a full-on narcissist, but you probably did exhibit many personality attributes that triggered my childhood behavior of trying way too hard to please you, no matter what the conditions.

My first LTR (long term relationship) was with a full on Narcissist. He couldn’t see past the lens of his own self. Everything was about him. He was abusive most of the time. And when he wasn’t abusive to me, he was “Love Bombing” me to get me back to loving him. (Love bombing slathering you with gifts and compliments and usually being sorry for a time, only to beat you up again later.) I might add that this person was a saint to everyone else in his life. They wouldn’t have suspected his abuse, because it was reserved only for me.

I also had a best friend for 20 years who couldn’t bare for me to be happy. If I were in a bad relationship, she was the most loving. If I was experiencing success, she would often “put me in my place” with severely uncalled for comments, such as, “If anyone else knew what I did about you, they would be running from your hypnosis office.” Then, she would laugh, like she really didn’t mean it. 

Mental abuse is very difficult to become aware of when you are used to negative behavior. As i said at the beginning, you become like a co-dependent, but in a narcissistic relationship. Hopefully, by reading this, though, you will open your eyes and seek some help very soon.

I would say that one out of two clients of mine are currently in one or more relationships with a narcissist or are experiencing narcissistic behavior in their lives—enough so that their anxiety level has caused them to reach out to my office for help. The result of being robbed of vital energy by narcissistic energy vampires can be anger, a terrible self-image, deep seated anxiety, sleeplessness, and an inability to finish anything.

Listen, your life is a miracle. The fact that anything exists on this Earth is divine. When you recognize this, you will not be hampered by any struggle around you, including dealing with and experiencing Narcissistic Abuse. 

With help and way better boundaries, you’ll be compassionate, loving, and experience all the power of the One Infinite Love and a restful mind. And, most importantly, you’ll rid your life of the energy vipers that are pushing and prodding your life into a negative spiral downward.

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The purpose of this blog is to realize that the stories in the brain are impulses from Spirit to help us heal, if we are willing to take the time to understand our own pain. Most of us want to avoid it. But, if you are tired of reliving your stories over and over again, try learning to become the observer of your mind. Restore and Renew Your Mind.

 GIVE IT A TRY.

With 31 years of experience and a new, great office in beautiful Fort Lauderdale, Hypnosis on Las Olas creates a clear path to health and prosperity for many people in South Florida. I will help put you on the road to peace of mind and keep you there, so that you may rewrite your prosperous story daily and learn the True Meaning of Healing: “Your New Story, Your New Life.”

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